Why aren’t we happy?

Posted: December 14, 2006 in All, Blogroll, Health, Life, Motivation & Inspiration

 laugh therapy: if try this alone, by all means, pull the blinds, and lock the doors, or you might end up being carted off to the funny farm. It looks stupid, but I did find myself smiling while watching.

We all stuggle with happiness, some more so than others.  Sometimes it’s just really hard to know what will put us in that happy place.  I have spent an endless amount of time researching this subject over the past few weeks, trying to cure my own depressive mood.  It’s interesting, but almost all of the article’s say about the same thing.  I’ve heard that it can really lift your spirits if you take time everyday to just laugh. Just sit, and belly laugh, for no reason.  I put a video up top showing how to do that.   I’ve also read to not spend time alone.  To be surrounded by family and friends. The problem with that for me is, I don’t have enough time alone.  So, I’m assuming that you do the opposite if you don’t have enough alone time.    With the holiday’s quickly approaching, and the greed we often feel, the I gotta have it syndrome…I think this post is quite timely.

USA Today says…

The happiest people spend the least time alone. They pursue personal growth and intimacy; they judge themselves by their own yardsticks, never against what others do or have.

“Materialism is toxic for happiness,” says University of Illinois psychologist Ed Diener. Even rich materialists aren’t as happy as those who care less about getting and spending….   A person’s cheer level is about half genetic, scientists say.

Everyone has a “set point” for happiness, just as they do for weight, Seligman says. People can improve or hinder their well-being, but they aren’t likely to take long leaps in either direction from their set point. 

Life satisfaction occurs most often when people are engaged in absorbing activities that cause them to forget themselves, lose track of time and stop worrying. “Flow” is the term Claremont Graduate University psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced cheeks-sent-mee-hi) coined to describe this phenomenon.

Teenagers experience flow, too, and are the happiest if they consider many activities “both work and play,” Csikszentmihalyi says. Flow stretches someone but pleasurably so, not beyond his capacity. “People feel best when doing what they do best,” he says.

Everyone has “signature strengths,” Seligman adds, and the happiest use them. Doing so can lead to choices that astound others but yield lasting satisfaction.

“If you knew exactly what the future held, you still wouldn’t know how much you would like it when you got there,” Gilbert says. In pursuing happiness, he suggests “we should have more trust in our own resilience and less confidence in our predictions about how we’ll feel. We should be a bit more humble and a bit more brave.”

So, in summary, how I see it is, we need to spend less time trying to get the next thing, or dreading the next thing and just spend each moment  in the moment.  Enjoy the simple things.  Find a passion or two, and do it whether you’re any good or not.  Surround yourself with positive, fun, loving people.  And if none of these things work, then it’s ok if you need a professional.  But whatever you do, get in the game. Don’t just sit around wondering why you’re not happy, do something about it!

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Comments
  1. humanlv says:

    Laughter shown here is absolutely natural. It is not fake and nobody is forcing them to laugh and even they are not forcing themselves.

    Only from aside it can seem strange, but it is sincere and true laughter just for purifying of nervous system from stress and preparing people for more effective acception other parts of this course – to learn state of inner silence, to start to do some kind of inner/spiritual job/exercises etc.

    And little explanation for understanding – it is not the first lesson – these people prepared almost a week every day few hour lessons while they almost all could be opened to laughter and trust to everything that happens.

    By the way – it is absolutely not important – man is laughing or not – the purification of nervous system is happening anyway and it helps people become more free.

    … and .. ordinary for unprepared people such video is not shown…

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