Imus is not the only one calling HO

Posted: April 29, 2007 in All, Blogroll, Controversy, Life, Thoughts

I wonder if men do the same thing?  I was walking down the hall at the school where I work and I heard snippets of 2 conversations that gossiping ladies were having.  The first conversation I heard were between 2 black women.  They were dissing at least 3 black women.  The were saying that Oprah is a sell out, extremely depressed, not happy with her life, and they think she is a lesbian.  They went on to say that they don’t like Oprah because she doesn’t represent everyday, ordinary women.  As I walked away, I heard the fading conversation of how Fantasia, of American Idol is a disgrace to the piedmont triad here in North Carolina.  And I kid you not, they actually called her a “HO”.  This was just last week after the whole Imus thing.  I was thinking about what I heard on “The View” where they said, “Say no to ho!”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

I was trying to shake all of the negative thoughts from my brain, as I walked around the corner to the break room looking for coffee.  I found a group of white women talking in the same sort of tone.  The snippet I heard from them was that Hillary Clinton was washout.  The dark haired woman in blue said, “No one in their right mind would vote for a woman who can’t even handle their man.”  Before I left the breakroom, they had moved on to how trashy and slutty the women at work were.  In their opinion, the women in this particular school spend way too much time going after the men in the school.  The brown haired woman said, and I quote, “It’s not the men’s fault, they can’t help it, but the women should know better.  Did you see what a ho D—- was in the man gettin’ skirt?”

Twice, in less than 5 minutes I heard women calling their own ho’s.

Ok, what in the hell is wrong with us women?  Why do we purposely search and destroy our own so viciously?  We’re screaming about equal rights, and wanting to be treated with respect, but in our own little circles, we’re trashing the hell out of any woman who gets any success, or is working hard to make a difference.  But if someone outside that circle calls them a ho, trashy, easy, whatever, place your adjective ______ here, women go nuts.  Shouting how unequal everything is, and they can’t believe anyone would have the nerve to call any woman these  names.  “After all, we’re your mother’s, sister’s, daughter’s, aunts, wife’s, girlfriend’s, and grandmother’s.  We deserve to be respected!” 

Yes, I agree…we as women have to work harder to prove that we’re even half as competent as a man.  But maybe, just maybe, we could be to blame.  We spend so much time dissing each other, why should those outside the circle react any differently?  We deserve to be respected, and that means having enough self dignity to respect ourselves.  Imus is not the only one calling ho, but he should know better none the less…But so should anyone else. “Say no to Ho!” and “Respect yourself!” DAMMIT

  1. Pinkmohair says:

    It’s true, isn’t it? Women are definitely hard on each other especially in the workplace. How are we supposed to ban together if we keep doing this?

  2. Manymeez says:

    yes, it is isn’t it? I swear, people just don’t seem to grow up at all…it’s like junior high all over again. I try to tune it out, but I’m sort of looked at like a snob because I don’t participate in all of the gossip. Oh well, at least I can hold my head high, and know that I am a true feminist. But until people within the same group or people of different groups can learn to show more respect, the problems of racism, sexism, ageism and all the other ism’s won’t go away. Thanks for the comment!

  3. lawcrow says:

    It seems that nowadays; anyone can apply a level of selective enforcement when it suits them. I too; have witnessed words that can only be described as derogatory in nature.
    I am amazed that being a minority myself; that the word “FAG” is so freely used by so many in the gay community at times. However, when a heterosexual uses the word “FAG“ ; many people are up in arms. It is a double standard like this that sets me apart from many. I could care less for the utilization of any derogatory term, and just assume that people need to either get a thicker skin, or recognize the context of the word usage. Consider the source!
    It should not surprise anyone that a number of people use racial or ethnic slurs. We all have done it; and yet when it is put out in the open. A crucifixion of sorts begins without the forethought that it is a complete waste of time and energy to try an expel an eternal beast like prejudice that endures both in the positive and negative conversations that go on everyday.
    Ok; hope that does not sound to weird…..

  4. Manymeez says:

    yes, I agree. I work with a woman who actually was throwing out the “F” word and the “N” word. For that, I could NOT be silent. I told her that if those words are useful in her life then fine and dandy, but they are offensive in mine and to me…and do not use them in my presence. She is very young, and thought I was like her I guess. I told her that you cannot expect people to respect you if you hold that little of opinion of people who are different than yourself. I’m just blown away by some of the things people say when they either think no one is listening, or they think that will help them to fit in to a particular social circle. I have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the interest to be such a disrespectful bigot in order to fit in. I’d rather be alone, thank you very much. And this business of women trashing eachother is just as bad, if not worse. Absolutely sickening!

  5. SurfaceEarth says:

    This is in a school? And we wonder about the examples we set for the kids? You can’t just say those things, breath those things into the air, and shake it off, smile, and teach respect, kindness, compassion and understanding to our kids…it is so unfortunate that people don’t realize those attitudes hang in the air and influence those around them.

    Thanks Coffeegrounds.

  6. Manymeez says:

    Acutally, it’s a school for special needs kids. supposedly, they don’t understand. But I tell my co-workers, you can treat them like any other child to a degree, and they will and do respond. They think I”m crazy, but they’re always amazed when I prove my theory. But you’re absolutely right, these conversations don’t belong in the school setting.

  7. SurfaceEarth says:


    Just because many of us forgot to speak the language of “special needs” kids, doesn’t mean they don’t know ours.

    I thank you so much for your courageous posts and hope you are well.


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