Archive for May, 2007

Lately I have been watching people closely.  I don’t know what’s driving the obsession, but everywhere I go, I purposely listen in to snippets of conversations.  And when I’m fortunate enough to hear the same person speaking in different groups, I find myself feeling even more intrigued.

We all criticize celebrities for being fake, and just acting for the camera or the adoring fans or critics that flock to them.  But when we think about it, don’t most of us do the same thing?  Think about it for a moment.  Who are you when you’re with your family versus when you’re with your best friends?  Who are or were you on a first date, with a spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend?  Who are you at work versus who are you in a party full of strangers?  Who are you when you’re face to face with your worst enemy?  Or think about who you are while holding a baby or a puppy.  Are any of these the same person that you see when you look in the mirror?  Most of us are different people in all of these different situations.

But you know, I noticed an interesting thing, or concept or whatever you want to call it.  If you observe closely, the people who we would consider quirky, or a little on the crazy side are not much different in any situation they are in. They just  don’t seem to feel or understand that the behavior’s you exhibit at home in your bathrobe may not necessarily be the ones you want to exhibit when you’re in a restaurant. They stay true to who they are at all times, and are totally comfortable with that.  Does that mean that we all need a little more crazy in our lives?  Or is it a good thing to have “manymeez” all wrapped up into one package?  But whether  you consider yourself to be in the “manymeez” category or you’re most comfortable letting out a stinker in the middle of a black tie event, you are you.  But I can guarentee  you that the people who you let in on your bathrobe moments, will see that there’s probably a little quirky in all of us. 


posted by hollywood farmgirl  


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

millions de nile

breathing, i try to take in the day. the birth of a love, she is 46 today, and we’ve been together for over 6 years. that’s a lot of breathing we’ve spent together, but a fraction of what is to come, i’m sure. i’m sure our bodies’ rhythms are pumping in unison now, our breath, our heart rate, our hopes and dreams… we braid our lives into one palace of magic.

our children fill the rooms with laughter, and reason to seek answers. their innocence gives me strength for the monsters. i can no longer live the way i used to live. i can’t watch the news- that world being trashed is my children’s future. when a drowning mother hands her infant off to a man in the boat, as the waters swallow her- i can’t see those photos anymore. the mother is my sister, the child my child. i bleed all the way through life now. right now, i am so forlorn over the lack of consideration for human life. dancing with the stars, singing with the stars, idolizing with the stars, moving with the stars, gawking at the stars, blogging with the stars, vote for your favorite star… millions of people make a river in egypt: de nile. denial.

denial has to have some sort of saving grace on my soul. denial gives me a false hope that carries me through the night while i sleep, and allows me to raise my children without needing to march anywhere or write to anyone or put a big ugly fight with the bullies of the world: the american government. fuck, i know what would happen to me if i spoke out more than i do… i’d be called a “washed-up, wannabe, muff-diving, ugly, abomination, stupid, fat, lezzbo BITCH who should go back to following MLE around like a puppy dog, and leave the big thoughts to those with balls that don’t get placed in the night stand drawer.”
so here i am. me and my blog, and a pile of laundry and some dirty diapers, and chicken pox. and nary a postcard or a picket sign in sight. i’m still thinking about post cards. sending a shitload to somewhere, with one word on it: IMPEACH. who do we send it to? where is ken lay when you need him? if only condi would blow bush… well… there are rumors…. about the bush part, i mean. which bush, hmm…

someone get me a prozac. this is so depressing.

without denial, would i let the frustration of it all bubble to the top? would the sadness wash over me like watered down syrup, drowning me on my stack of flat wishes. does denial make it possible for me to get up each morning, and concentrate on what fruits and veggies my kids need to eat? does denial allow me space in my mind to save myself from more years of anxiety attacks? denial saved my ass growing up: if you don’t know your mother is crazy, then you don’t think “I’m raised by a crazy!” you think, “i’m raised by a colorful gal!”

if i step out of my safe denial, my feelings might come up. i might get angry- and have no place to put it. (hello, sweet cindy sheehan) i might feel desperate and reach out for help- and get none (hello, conservatives). denial not only protects me from having to make a move regarding that criminal activity in the white house, but it also allows me to just be a mommy. to just let my dreams come true, let the reality of my hopes fading into truth be my point for living… granted, this world might not be here for my grandchildren… but isn’t that one more reason to run away from the fact that the most powerful man in the world is an ass puppet for gold and hate mongers. ass puppet. i wish i could say that to his face. i wish i could run into him in the back room of a smokey bar. i don’t know if i’d beat the shit out of him…. or knock him over the head, strip him naked, dress him up as a troop, and send him into iraq.

i’m afraid, very afraid. but i’m boogeyman afraid- i don’t even know what i fear. i just know i fear something. and i am mostly afraid that
i fear my government.

and if i step out of denial, what the hell do i do with that? if i open my eyes to find dad(bush) molesting the family(raping us of our faith, trust, patriotism), who do i go to for help? there is no mother- cheney is merely the uncle who molests the neighbor kids (WMD anyone?). do i run to get help and take the beating from the angrily quiet victims…. or do i close my eyes and go back to sleep, hoping i don’t feel him this time?

cuz if i don’t see it, i might not feel it. and if i don’t feel it, i don’t have to acknowledge it’s there. i don’t have to accept my vulnerabilty.

if i just keep denial wrapped around me, like a cashmere blanket, warm from the dryer even… i don’t have to do anything different. i can just curl up with my woobie, read with blind eyes, listen with deaf ears, and don’t question…. and life will be soft and safe and no one will headline my name with the word “BBBIIITTTCCCHHHHHH”.

why am i ready to let my life bleed dry before i am ready to put on some boots and do something?

postcards. i wonder if it would do more to send the post cards to the white house or to nancy pelosi? i bet if i mailed a shitload of postcards to nancy… and the other folk who work with her… i bet there’d be something- if nothing else, at least a BLOG about the effort right? i can write a postcard. i can get a stamp. i can do this. i can buy 100 postcards, i can buy 100 stamps. i can mail one postcard a week, or one a day…. i can send them, tell my friends to send them, tell anyone to send them… millions…. a deluge of

i think nancy would listen. i do. i just looked up her contact info, and i’m going to use it. i think i’ll email her and send postcards. emailing is quick, and cheap. postcards scream “I’m not effing kidding here”. so i’ll do both. on the postcard, i shall write only “IMPEACH”… and in my emails, the subject will read “IMPEACH” and inside it shall only read, “BUSH”. i hope she understands these two go together… not that i want to impeach someone, AND make everyone a lezbo, but rather, “IMPEACH BUSH” is the entirety of the message.

i can’t sit around slack-jawed at the incest and rape happening to our souls anymore, or i will need to start taking partial credit as to why our state is in such disarray. right?

postcards and emails. i might be the only one doing it, but dammit… one by one is better than none by none. hm… if my 1000 “impeach” postcards and emails get him out of office… well, rootbeer floats all around!

let’s just see what happens. i’m going to believe this will work. believe it, know it, is is.

DC Address:
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
United States House of Representatives
235 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-0508

Email Address:

impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach
go go go go go go
go sisters go brothers
go go go go
go go
go !!!!!!!!!



It is memorial day, a day of remembrance of the men and women who have fought for this country, past and present.  It doesn’t matter what your politics are, for today, put those to the side and take the time to remember the sacrifice these soldiers and their families have made on all of our behalf.  They are hero’s.  Remember that the over 3,800 total in this war alone are not just numbers.  Jayel Aheram, an  Iraqi soldier has a Iraq war casualities, visualizing the dead map on his flickr photo website.  The nearly 1,000 dead since memorial day 2006, and the 100 dead this month alone are not just numbers either.

There are names and  faces to go with these figures, here is a list of 3,863 names of U.S. men and women who have died fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.  And lets not forget the physically and mentally injured, that would put the number of Americans killed or injured up into the hundreds of thousands.   Go to this website, and look at the faces of the fallen. And take a moment to say a prayer of peace for the ones who are still standing, and hope for their safe return.  They are American citizens. They are wives and husbands.  They are sons and daughters.  They are brothers and sisters. They are friends and lovers.  They are our neighbors.  They are hero’s.  Beforeyou light that grill, before you dive into the pool…take a moment and remember our hero’s.

Thank  you to all of our war  hero’s.  I am humbled by the very essence of your commitment.  You are my hero’s because  you continue in your commitment despite your fears, despite your politics, despite your personal beliefs.  I pray that each and everyone of you make it home safely and whole, with a feeling of being appreciated.

Despite how we feel about President Bush, or the mission in Iraq…our soldiers are our hero’s.  The men and women joined the military for many different reason’s.  Some are there because they felt the call to duty. Other’s are there because they felt it was there only option.  And yes, some are there because they were lied to and mislead into being there.  But once there, All of them are our hero’s, and deserve our thanks.  On this memorial day, please take some time to remember our soldiers, to thank our soldiers, past and present.  Our soldiers are not their mission, our soldiers are our fellow Americans who have sacrificed so much, and ask so little.

The American Soldier
May 23, 2007
We are the force we are today because of our values, our ethos and our people.  The essence of a Soldier’s service is captured in the Soldier’s Creed.  While the Soldier’s Creed itself is relatively new, the values it articulates are timeless.The history of battle is one of ordinary people doing extraordinary things in the service of their country.  A great many books have been written which describe in marvelous and inspiring detail examples of Soldiers who have lived the Creed.  And yet, for every book written there are millions of examples from our Army’s almost 232 history of the largely anonymous service of Soldiers who have quietly and professionally lived these values in both peace and in war. 

While the nature of both the heralded and unheralded service is varied, they all began with someone answering the “call to duty” in times of danger for our country.  That call, a call that pierces the air once again, comes from the American People.  The Creed recognizes this when it states “I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.”

Today’s Soldiers, like those in generations past who have worn the uniform and borne arms in defense of America’s interests, are motivated by the ideal of liberty enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.  It is an ideal each swears to “support and defend.”  It is an ideal to which each promises to “bear true faith and allegiance.”  It is an ideal each thinks worth fighting and dying for if necessary.

Having watched America’s Army in action alongside our joint and allied partners the past several years in the most demanding combat environment, I take great pride in our Soldier’s commitment, courage, competence, and dedication.  They epitomize what is best about America and have made our Army the world’s preeminent land power.

The call to duty that rings out today is also answered by the Families of those who wear the uniform.  Their service is just as significant and their sacrifice just as real.  Families move from post to post, not just Soldiers; Families go through deployments, not just Soldiers; and it is Families who live through the ups and downs of military life.  Without strong and supportive Families the Army would not be as good as it is today and America would not be as secure.  We thank them for their dedication to their loved ones, their support of our Army, and their love of their country.

In all that our Army has accomplished, and all that it will be called upon to do, the American Soldier and those who support them remain the single most important factor in our success.  They represent the values and ideals their country stands for and what is truly great about America.

Casey is the Army chief of staff.

Soldier’s CreedI am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

specks of dust?

Posted: May 24, 2007 in All, Blogroll, Thoughts

Ok, my heart is speeding, and this comment from CNN just really pissed me off.  On a plug for a future story, the news anchor actually said that a woman slowly died from a speck of dust from the 9-11 attacks.  OMG…a speck of dust?  I can’t wait to hear what they have to say about that.  Is the news media still saying that the air was safe in and around ground zero in the days and months that followed the 9-11 tragedy?  Has the media not heard about the countless amount of hero’s that flocked to ground zero, who are now extremely ill?  What other load of crap will the media try to spoon feed me today?

On this memorial day, we need to not only remember America’s past and present soldier’s, but our 9-11 hero’s who sacrificed so much, and have received so very little.  A speck of dust my ass.  To CNN, do some damn research!

The public school system is a complicated and wondrous thing, yet…full of conflict and responsible for raising children who are unable to challenge what they are taught as truth. 

In the public school system we have the separation of church and state. Within the compound of the public school system, there can be no God because there is no scientific proof that there is a God, or if there is a God, whose God is the real God. 

Reading, writing, and math are pretty simple subjects.  There are procedures and rules that are indisputable.  But when we think about history and science, there is a lot to ponder.  Lesson plans are laid out with extreme caution as to not lead the students to think too much for themselves.  All science and history are laid out as fact.  Science is taught without consideration of religion.  History is taught that the U.S. government is perfect as a result of checks and balances, and makes few mistakes.  But on the rare occasion when the bad and the dishonest shows its’ ugly face, it is always handled and taken care of. 

It’s amazing how little I came out of school knowing, how little I was able to reason, compare and question.  These qualities I now possess are self taught.  Why is the public school system so invested in raising generation after generation of people who are incapable of free thinking, with little exception?  Why are teacher’s not allowed to discuss all sides of any one particular view, teaching students how to think for themselves based on the information they are given?  What is the benefit to the U.S. government to have a society full of people who question the government very little?  The dumber we are, the better they like it, so it seems.

These are just a few things that I find myself thinking about often.  I am terrified about what the children in my life are learning in school, besides how to be good test takers, thanks to G.W.’s “no child left behind act.”  I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to not live in a village of idiots…or worse yet, being governed by a villiage of idiots.  It’s an unending cycle, that only seems to be getting worse.  What do you think? 

I saw a segment this morning on The Today Show that was talking about dishing out shame for punishment. I remember hearing about this a few years ago, and forgot about it.  I googled a few articles about examples of this type of punishment being handed down by U.S. judges. Look here and here for a couple of examples.  I have a hard time accepting this type of punishment on many levels. 

Shaming can completely destroy a person’s soul. I think the punishment needs to fit the crime.  If the crime involves someone shaming another person, like in child abuse or child pornography or molestation, then yes, I agree 100% that shame should be a part of the punishment.  An inhumane, barbaric criminal deserves to be punished with like measures.  However, this type of punishment could fall into the same sort of problems as the death penalty.  You  have to catch the person in the act, because as we all know, there are many innocent people sitting on death row right now.  If you shame a person who is innocent, the consequences could be disastrous.

When I think about shame punishments, I think about the radical Islamic terrorist parading and dragging people through the streets, dead or alive to either shame the person they deem a criminal or attempt to shame their group.  And even the reported shaming our U.S. government has participated in with accused terrorist. It is a very barbaric practice to me.  In 2007, I think we need to think of other alternatives for punishing criminals if they do not need to be in jail, unless as said above, you’re absolutely positive of their guilt and their crime involved destroying someone else’s soul. 

But really, I think the judges that participate in this shame for punishment are judges who are seeking a bit of notoriety and attention.  Just my opinion, but do we, the United States of America really want to go back to the era of burning people at the stakes?  Just something to think about.