writing postcards out of denial

Posted: May 29, 2007 in All, Blogroll, CELEBRITY, Controversy, Life, Motivation & Inspiration, politics, War

posted by hollywood farmgirl  

  

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

millions de nile

breathing, i try to take in the day. the birth of a love, she is 46 today, and we’ve been together for over 6 years. that’s a lot of breathing we’ve spent together, but a fraction of what is to come, i’m sure. i’m sure our bodies’ rhythms are pumping in unison now, our breath, our heart rate, our hopes and dreams… we braid our lives into one palace of magic.

our children fill the rooms with laughter, and reason to seek answers. their innocence gives me strength for the monsters. i can no longer live the way i used to live. i can’t watch the news- that world being trashed is my children’s future. when a drowning mother hands her infant off to a man in the boat, as the waters swallow her- i can’t see those photos anymore. the mother is my sister, the child my child. i bleed all the way through life now. right now, i am so forlorn over the lack of consideration for human life. dancing with the stars, singing with the stars, idolizing with the stars, moving with the stars, gawking at the stars, blogging with the stars, vote for your favorite star… millions of people make a river in egypt: de nile. denial.

denial has to have some sort of saving grace on my soul. denial gives me a false hope that carries me through the night while i sleep, and allows me to raise my children without needing to march anywhere or write to anyone or put a big ugly fight with the bullies of the world: the american government. fuck, i know what would happen to me if i spoke out more than i do… i’d be called a “washed-up, wannabe, muff-diving, ugly, abomination, stupid, fat, lezzbo BITCH who should go back to following MLE around like a puppy dog, and leave the big thoughts to those with balls that don’t get placed in the night stand drawer.”
so here i am. me and my blog, and a pile of laundry and some dirty diapers, and chicken pox. and nary a postcard or a picket sign in sight. i’m still thinking about post cards. sending a shitload to somewhere, with one word on it: IMPEACH. who do we send it to? where is ken lay when you need him? if only condi would blow bush… well… there are rumors…. about the bush part, i mean. which bush, hmm…

someone get me a prozac. this is so depressing.

without denial, would i let the frustration of it all bubble to the top? would the sadness wash over me like watered down syrup, drowning me on my stack of flat wishes. does denial make it possible for me to get up each morning, and concentrate on what fruits and veggies my kids need to eat? does denial allow me space in my mind to save myself from more years of anxiety attacks? denial saved my ass growing up: if you don’t know your mother is crazy, then you don’t think “I’m raised by a crazy!” you think, “i’m raised by a colorful gal!”

if i step out of my safe denial, my feelings might come up. i might get angry- and have no place to put it. (hello, sweet cindy sheehan) i might feel desperate and reach out for help- and get none (hello, conservatives). denial not only protects me from having to make a move regarding that criminal activity in the white house, but it also allows me to just be a mommy. to just let my dreams come true, let the reality of my hopes fading into truth be my point for living… granted, this world might not be here for my grandchildren… but isn’t that one more reason to run away from the fact that the most powerful man in the world is an ass puppet for gold and hate mongers. ass puppet. i wish i could say that to his face. i wish i could run into him in the back room of a smokey bar. i don’t know if i’d beat the shit out of him…. or knock him over the head, strip him naked, dress him up as a troop, and send him into iraq.

i’m afraid, very afraid. but i’m boogeyman afraid- i don’t even know what i fear. i just know i fear something. and i am mostly afraid that
i fear my government.

and if i step out of denial, what the hell do i do with that? if i open my eyes to find dad(bush) molesting the family(raping us of our faith, trust, patriotism), who do i go to for help? there is no mother- cheney is merely the uncle who molests the neighbor kids (WMD anyone?). do i run to get help and take the beating from the angrily quiet victims…. or do i close my eyes and go back to sleep, hoping i don’t feel him this time?

cuz if i don’t see it, i might not feel it. and if i don’t feel it, i don’t have to acknowledge it’s there. i don’t have to accept my vulnerabilty.

if i just keep denial wrapped around me, like a cashmere blanket, warm from the dryer even… i don’t have to do anything different. i can just curl up with my woobie, read with blind eyes, listen with deaf ears, and don’t question…. and life will be soft and safe and no one will headline my name with the word “BBBIIITTTCCCHHHHHH”.

why am i ready to let my life bleed dry before i am ready to put on some boots and do something?

postcards. i wonder if it would do more to send the post cards to the white house or to nancy pelosi? i bet if i mailed a shitload of postcards to nancy… and the other folk who work with her… i bet there’d be something- if nothing else, at least a BLOG about the effort right? i can write a postcard. i can get a stamp. i can do this. i can buy 100 postcards, i can buy 100 stamps. i can mail one postcard a week, or one a day…. i can send them, tell my friends to send them, tell anyone to send them… millions…. a deluge of
IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACH

i think nancy would listen. i do. i just looked up her contact info, and i’m going to use it. i think i’ll email her and send postcards. emailing is quick, and cheap. postcards scream “I’m not effing kidding here”. so i’ll do both. on the postcard, i shall write only “IMPEACH”… and in my emails, the subject will read “IMPEACH” and inside it shall only read, “BUSH”. i hope she understands these two go together… not that i want to impeach someone, AND make everyone a lezbo, but rather, “IMPEACH BUSH” is the entirety of the message.

i can’t sit around slack-jawed at the incest and rape happening to our souls anymore, or i will need to start taking partial credit as to why our state is in such disarray. right?

postcards and emails. i might be the only one doing it, but dammit… one by one is better than none by none. hm… if my 1000 “impeach” postcards and emails get him out of office… well, rootbeer floats all around!

let’s just see what happens. i’m going to believe this will work. believe it, know it, is is.

DC Address:
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
United States House of Representatives
235 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-0508

Email Address: sf.nancy@mail.house.gov

impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach
go go go go go go
go sisters go brothers
go go go go
go go
go !!!!!!!!!

right?

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Comments
  1. Palestar says:

    thank you too – out loud and damn proud – and I am woman hear me roar!!! 😆

  2. Mentifex says:

    Have faith. There is a greater power than the cause of your unhappiness.

  3. Palestar says:

    Have faith – but keep on – keepin on – cause action has reaction – squeeky wheel gets the oil – as so it goes… :LOL:

  4. Manymeez says:

    That’s for sure Mentifex…President Bush, in my opinion is the cause of much unhappiness. But as Palestar says, we have faith that our actions will create some hope in this ailing country. We can’t sit by, and watch and wait for the country to become unrecognizable. Denial is a place we can go to making living easier, but denial can also destroy, as can anything in excess.

  5. Mentifex says:

    Have faith, and read Dina Lydia’s story at http://www.washblog.com/story/2007/5/31/141042/337 to see that we Steppenwolves and Ronin are out there subverting the America-gone-Nazi government and bringing down the whole corrupt house of oil profiteers and war criminals. Years ago, we got Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon. More recently we got Congressman Jack Delay, war criminal Rumsfeld and war instigator Wolfowitz. Now we are about to bring down war criminal Cheney on our way to shutting down the Iraq war and bringing home the troops. We shall overcome.

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